franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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