Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
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