Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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