This girl is more easily done than said...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
