whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
