It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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