He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
