He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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