Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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