Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
