Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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