And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
