I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
