is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
