Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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