When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
