dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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