You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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