omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
