That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
