i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
