i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
