If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
