do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
