hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
