Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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