Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
