take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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