she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
