i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
