I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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