Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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