Small penises have feelings too.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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