Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone