Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.

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  (734): I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian. http://tfl.nu/giw2
  Replies (10) Good night (868) Bad night (1080)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.

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  (410): the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina. http://tfl.nu/o3ng
  Replies (13) Good night (2530) Bad night (529)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.

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  (405): You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class. http://tfl.nu/7p98
  Replies (26) Good night (2846) Bad night (4768)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage

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  (513): both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage http://tfl.nu/uqc7
  Replies (22) Good night (1769) Bad night (7279)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.

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  (813): It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you. http://tfl.nu/aegn
  Replies (10) Good night (3204) Bad night (858)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!

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  (910): Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/gina
  Replies (13) Good night (1312) Bad night (6649)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.

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  (914): Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail. http://tfl.nu/7j5r
  Replies (8) Good night (826) Bad night (2484)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?

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  (901): I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter? http://tfl.nu/wyo3
  Replies (6) Good night (1515) Bad night (586)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell

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  (504): if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell http://tfl.nu/719j
  Replies (3) Good night (1528) Bad night (701)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.

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  (315): The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me. http://tfl.nu/qtoi
  Replies (6) Good night (1399) Bad night (405)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation

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  (860): When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation http://tfl.nu/q5aa
  Replies (5) Good night (893) Bad night (421)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.

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  (270): I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once. http://tfl.nu/lr7p
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (365)
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  (909): View more from California

  Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught

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  (909): Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught http://tfl.nu/ohgq
  Replies (9) Good night (810) Bad night (248)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.

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  (703): She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic. http://tfl.nu/ch95
  Replies (3) Good night (653) Bad night (426)
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  (323): View more from California

  I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.

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  (323): I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage. http://tfl.nu/vubj
  Replies (0) Good night (491) Bad night (260)

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