Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP

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  (415): JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP http://tfl.nu/adca
  Replies (19) Good night (4116) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.

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  (646): The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song. http://tfl.nu/nwvh
  Replies (87) Good night (4244) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?

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  (612): Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't? http://tfl.nu/pb2r
  Replies (66) Good night (6026) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday

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  (810): I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday http://tfl.nu/aiy9
  Replies (34) Good night (693) Bad night (6179)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.

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  (818): I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal. http://tfl.nu/asxv
  Replies (23) Good night (4216) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.

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  (269): He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better. http://tfl.nu/o020
  Replies (21) Good night (5656) Bad night (1966)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.

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  (201): There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now. http://tfl.nu/urj5
  Replies (3) Good night (1584) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many

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  (515): Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many http://tfl.nu/90pg
  Replies (2) Good night (1797) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.

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  (412): some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job. http://tfl.nu/yk8c
  Replies (7) Good night (3492) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.

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  (+61): we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together. http://tfl.nu/r78i
  Replies (6) Good night (3649) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.

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  (423): I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years. http://tfl.nu/oqic
  Replies (5) Good night (3038) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.

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  (414): Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask. http://tfl.nu/qumd
  Replies (6) Good night (1197) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.

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  (407): It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs. http://tfl.nu/mrim
  Replies (8) Good night (1241) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow

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  (203): The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow http://tfl.nu/7yz5
  Replies (7) Good night (748) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home

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  (402): You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home http://tfl.nu/2kjb
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (246)

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