I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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