Soap is not a condiment
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.