people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol