i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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