I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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