I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
