Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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