It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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