just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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