I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
