this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize