THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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