Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You smell like stripper and shame
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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