we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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