Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
