What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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