google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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