just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Holy sore nipples Batman
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
