he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
