Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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