So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
