she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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