I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
