I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
sex in a hospital.. check
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome